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Dear Cassey: How do I deal with my unsupportive spouse?

Dear Cassey,
My husband is unsupportive of my fitness goals. He makes fun of me and tells me I’m obsessive, that I’m going to look like a man, and that I look better chubby. Advice please.
Thank you!
Over the Negativity

Dear Over the Negativity,

Not. Cool.

Sounds like it’s time to sit down and have a serious heart-to-heart with your husband.

I think this happens with family and spouses more often than you’d think, and it comes down to fear. Change is scary and intimidating. Is he afraid that if you change it will affect him or your relationship? Is he self-conscious about his OWN body? Don’t settle for a shoulder shrug or a “just because” reason why your fitness goals bother him. What is it that seems obsessive to him about your goals? Encourage him to communicate with you. If he has concerns, make sure you’re willing to listen. Get to the bottom of it.

What’s NOT okay is for him to shame your goals and project his worries on you. MAKE SURE YOU TALK ABOUT THIS! It’s possible that he doesn’t even realize how hurtful his comments are, so just be open and honest. Tell him why fitness is important to you, what your goals are, and how his comments are influencing those goals.

Oh and pleaasseee educate him about the fact that working out WILL NOT make you “bulk up” or look manly.

Basically, communicate, communicate, communicate.

If he’s unwilling to open up at first, give him time. Keep going with YOUR goals and trust that in time, he’ll see the good in your intentions. He’ll see how your hard work is paying off with your mood, energy and health. There’s a pretty good chance you’ll inspire him too!

In the meantime, it’s ok to find support elsewhere. Just like you are right now! There’s nothing but love and support in this community!

PS – If you have a burning question you want to ask me, I’m taking questions via text at 510-692-4556. Currently this only works for US and Canada. If you’re outside of those countries, you can leave a question below.

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